WHAT'S WRONG WITH THESE PICTURES?

I can't believe this. I think Vanity Fair has lost all of its credibility. With its 22-page spread of Tom Cruise and Katie (sorry, it's "Kate" now, right Tom?) Holmes sporting their baby Suri, Vanity Fair has proven that they're no different from trashy rags like US Weekly. Just cause Annie Leibovitz took the pictures doesn't make them more palatable or "artsy"—it's still trash. But alas (sigh), it's FINALLY confirmed; baby Suri actually exists!

Here's a question: Who cares?!?

But if you do give a shit, then you should know that it's likely that it took this long for the "parents" to show off Suri because they had to find a suitable baby to photoshop into the pictures. Cause if anyone recalls, Tom Cruise couldn't have kids with Nicole Kidman (which is why they adopted) because rumor has it he was shooting blanks.

But let's say, just for fun, that Suri is real.
Well, then how do we explain the insemination of Katie Holmes?

I'm going to have to take a shot in the dark here and say that Suri is probably not the next immaculate conception.

But, I will say, that the great thing about being a Scientologist is that once you reach Level 10 of insanity, you're awarded special sperm powers, and that, my friends, is how Suri came to be.