Fashion Reek

Fashion week can be real hell. You can never get a cab. You have to make your way through the maze of tourists who are all salivating over those dumb tents at Bryant Park that house all the fashionistas, celebrities, Z-list celebrities, and wanna-be celebrities for after-parties and the like. And then fashion week monopolizes the news, so I have to sit there while I'm watching TV or reading the paper and take it, and remind myself every year that I don't have $1 million dollars to buy a gold-plated Gucci shoelace.

I like clothes, don't get me wrong, but aren't there more interesting ways and more globally responsible ways for people to spend their money? It's not like fashion is a piece of art that doesn't depreciate.

You're going to wear that $4,000 Jil Sander sweater and get pit stains on it. You're going to buy those expensive Ferragamo loafers and probably step in poo sooner or later. And you're going to take that $6,000 Balenciaga bag and fill it with make-up or cream, or anything else that's gonna spill all over the place and give it a rank stench for eternity. But here are some people who don't really care about my trite argument:

Aliens like expensive clothing, just like us!!
The Olsen twins, proving once again—with their oddly misshaped heads, bug-eyes, and waify bodies—that they are indeed aliens from the planet Anorexicoid, are shown here in their most fetching human-wear.


Rumored to be starting a new clothing line of her own, Ashley Olsen attends a party for Balenciaga with her sister Mary-Kate. Don't be fooled people! The extraterrestrial's plan for starting a clothing line is just a front for her master plan of world domination.




Look at little Ashton Koochi-koo playing hangman with his mom during Marc Jacobs' runway breaks!




But seriously, good for you Demi for looking so damn incredible at age 80. You're a fox! And good for Ashton for sticking by your side. Old men marry young women all the time. It should happen the other way around more often.