Meanwhile, this is going on in Spain...

I have this friend named Chickarelo who moved to Barcelona about three years ago. We went to college together, but knew each other when we were still in highschool. Now she speaks better Spanish than I do.

She sent me this video of herself (she's a performer, dancer, etc) on Spanish television where she's dancing with a turban. THE TURBAN people!! THE TURBAN!!! (If you can't recall my obsession with turbans, CLICK HERE. and ALSO HERE.

She's the last one in the V formation on the right, in pale green. oh Chick, you crazy nut. I hope you're doin' alright.

Janet keeps it under wraps

Janet Jackson performs during the Billboard Music Awards in Las Vegas on Dec. 4, and makes sure to cover up her titty, in case it might fall out again due to a wardrobe malfunction. We shouldn't be worried about her boobs, but more about where she's going to put that finger. Yikes.

Nobel Clit Prize

Singer Lionel Richie and actress Sharon Stone make the V-sign seconds before they put their tongues through their fingers at the end of a news conference before the Nobel Peace Prize Concert in honor of celebrating lesbian cunnilingus.

And then this happens:

BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) -- A suicide bomber targeting laborers killed 60 people Tuesday in Baghdad and wounded 220 others, Iraqi officials said.

A pickup truck, loaded with about 440 pounds (200 kilograms) of explosives, pulled into central Baghdad's Tayaran Square as hundreds of unemployed Iraqis holding picks and shovels gathered seeking a day's work.

The truck driver signaled to the would-be workers that he had jobs -- prompting people to crowd around the pickup before he detonated his bomb, said an Iraqi Interior Ministry official.

FUCKED UP.

Mary Poppins: The horror movie

I LOVE Mary Poppins, and I love everything about Julie Andrews. I used to have a crush on both the character and the actress when I was little, and watched the movie every single day for a year. No joke.

When I found this little redited Mary Poppins Horror film, you can imagine my delight:

Meanwhile, this is going on in Japan....

They really know how to punk people over their in Japan...

Oh Nickie, You're so Asenine!

TMZ reports that Richie's car was spotted going the wrong way on a freeway in Burbank. She was booked early today for driving under the influence. Law enforcement officers told TMZ Nicole Richie admitted she had taken Vicodin and smoked pot.

TACO HELL

A member of my extended family has a real weakness for Taco Bell Chalupas. Since the recent outbreak of E.Coli, which was apparently due to toxic scallions at Taco Bell, I don't think he'll be dining at the BEll anytime soon, unless he wants a good dose of bloody stool. This is so fucking disgusting.

While the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has confirmed 61 cases in five states, most in New Jersey, New york, Pennsylvania and Delaware, this is the first time that it has been found in a NYC Taco Bell.



SPEAKING OF FAST FOOD, and the insanity of it all, my love bug sent me this incredible video from SNL. It's an oldie, but it's worth a watch, and incredibly appropriate given the whole Taco Bell fiasco.

I QUIT MY F*&%*NG JOB!!!

Shit! I've really dropped the big ol' ball, haven't I?

Sorry there have been no updates since before Turkey Day, but many of you will be happy to know that during this MIA time (and, no that doesn't stand for Miami International Airport), I've actually been trying to score another job—and I actually did. Look like Santa came early for my ass this year.

So, I'm going on to bigger and better places bitches!! For those of you who can't remember anything about my miserable job, or where I gleaned inspiration on how to quit this rag, CLICK HERE.


My boss had the balls to ask me for three weeks, and I took a cue from good ol' Whitney Houston, and said, HELL TO THE NO! SEE YOU LATER, you big green giant! Go suck a dick!


The days of hell's minions are OVER, people. In a few weeks, I'll be working at an entertainment zine, so I'm sure I'll have lots of juicy little scoops to provide all of you with shortly.

Cheers to REDEMPTION!

It's Turkey time chickies, and I thought I might enlighten you with some candid pictures from the White House diaries, courtesy of Time magazine. Those crazy Bush's! Look at how they spend their time just days before the holidays:


Here, W and Laura look on as these fine students from Bukit View Primary School in Singapore do a complex interpretive dance about the inner workings of George Bush's brain.



SHINY SHOES! SHINY SHOES! Doesn't anyone else see how they shine so bright? It's hypnotic.



BUSH: Look at this guy! He dressed up like a PILGRIM for Thanksgiving! Isn't it hysterical. What a patriot. I better get home quick and put on my HATUEY costume!!

JACKO's BACK! SHAMAU!!

MJ had an embarassing comeback Wednesday night in London at the World Music Awards.

After an hour of the crowd's waiting and anticipating, Jackson, 48, finally came on stage to accept the Diamond Award from Beyonce, who said: "If it wasn't for Michael Jackson, I would have never, ever performed. He has made such an impact on my life and every performer's life. Michael Jackson, I love you!" TMI BEYONCE, JUST TOO MUCH INFORMATION, GIRL!!

Driven to the stage in a blacked-out Mercedes surrounded by more than 20 security guards, Jackson grasped the award but had to wait for the crowd's screams to die down before he could be heard. "There have been so many who have loved me and stood by me throughout my 42 years I have been part of this business," he said. "I would like to thank my wonderful children, Paris, Prince, and Blanket, for their unconditional love and support." ESPECIALLY BLANKET, WHO SMOTHERS HIM WITH SUPPORT. YIKES.

Jackson then disappeared off stage, leaving R&B star Chris Brown to perform his version of "Thriller," backed by a dozen zombie dancers.

It was past 10:30 p.m. by the time Jackson finally performed his few lines, of "We Are The World," backed by a group of young children (HAVEN'T YOU LEARNED ANYTHING ABOUT NOT HAVING CHILDREN AROUND, MJ?) Observers noted he failed to hit some of the higher notes. LOOKS LIKE IT WASN'T A GOOD NIGHT FOR THE TESTIS!

AT LAST! The LESBIANS COME OUT...Sort of....

Terminator 3 star Kristanna Loken (remember when she kissed Pink in 2004?) has given her biggest hint yet she is dating Lost actress Michelle Rodriguez. Loken was recently interviewed by gay publication The Advocate, where she was asked about stories linking her with her sexy co-star on the set of BloodRayne. When asked about rumours that the two hooked up during the shoot, Loken laughed and took a deep breath before replying, "There is the $64,000 question. Um...I don't even know how to answer that." She was then asked if the two had fun partying together, Loken replied, "Uh-huh," while smiling slyly. When the interviewer said her silence "said volumes," the actress replied, "Just don't look upstairs, OK?" The couple have been frequently photographed together with their arms around each other in Los Angeles.

KRISTANNA: MY, WHAT A BIG SWORD YOU HAVE!!
MICHELLE: YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT MY TORPEDOES

PINK LIKES IT BLONDE

Another video from Kelly

For all of you who LOVE Kelly Likes Shoes, here's one more:

Meanwhile, this is going on in Japan

Just the way Tom likes it; FROM THE BACK END

KAT(I)E MAKES A NICE TOP TO TOM'S BOTTOM

MADGEY in Red....

So pissed off about the heat she's getting for adopting an African baby, Madonna had to dress up in her "civilian" clothes and go see a movie (probably Marie Antoinette) so that she could feel whole again this past weekend.



By the way—Sofia Coppola's Marie Antionette sucks. Shocker, I know. But it failed mainly because it's another movie about Sofia Coppola (a rich bich who feels alone in the world, and just wants to be adored). Poo Poo Sofia. Your movie smells of Poo Poo.

WHY DOES SHE ALWAYS LOOK LIKE SHE'S JUST FINISHED EATING A TURD?

STATING THE OBVIOUS

Hello people. I'm back, and with a vengeance. I've been MIA because I went on a bit of a bender to celebrate all those celebrity sisters who've been dumping those lame ass husbands who've leeched off of them financially and can't seem to satisfy them emotionally or sexually. First, Whitney blew our minds by divorcing Bobby Brown, proving that crack is not the only thing that's whack. AND NOW, Britney has dumped Kevin Federetarded. Aces, Brit! It only took you a couple of years to realize he was a greasy ne'er-do-well hobo, but way to go.


Her first husband, Jason Alexander, spoke about Brit's impending divorce from K-Fed:

Alexander, whom Spears married in Las Vegas in 2004 (their marriage was annulled 55 hours later-remember that disaster?), tells TV's Extra of Federline: "I don't hate the guy. … I think he made an idiot of himself." Asked whether he thought Federline married the pop star for her money, Alexander replied, "I don't know, the only thing he's done since they've been married is spend money." As for the potential custody battle over the couple's two sons, Sean Preston, 1, and Jayden James, Alexander said, "He won't get the kids ... he can't take care of his first two." (Federline has two children with ex-girlfriend Shar Jackson.)

What a shocker.

Jude Law and Sienna Miller have reportedly split for good, blaming "fundamental differences" for the end of their three year relationship. The pair only reunited earlier this year after splitting in 2005 when Law's affair with his children's nanny Daisy Wright was revealed by a national newspaper.


What a shame it is. I felt like the two idiotic twits balanced each other's raging egos so well. Serves you right, Jude, you little Mary Poppins-seducer. And as for you Sienna, now I suppose you can take your two-bit Scarlett-Johansen acting carreer and make something out of it.

DOOGIE HOWSER COMES OUT!

Apparently inspired by the numerous recent outings of Lance from the band Insync, Grey's Anatomy star T.R. Knight, Republican Mark Foley, and most recently, Ted Haggard, (one of the most prominent and politically powerful evangelical pastors in the country), actor Neil Patrick Harris has ended mounting speculation about his sexuality, by revealing he is gay. He says, "(I) am quite proud to say that I am a very content gay man living my life to the fullest."


My question is: Where the lesbians at??? Hello ladies! Come out, come out, wherever you are!!!

Dr. "McDreamy" used to have a mommy fetish

This is crazy, but it's actually true.


At age 21, Patrick Dempsey married this 47 year old woman, Rocky Parker. She filed for divorce in 1991, citing “irreconcilable differences,” reportedly after he told her that he had met another woman.

Parker (who's now 71 years old) is distancing herself from those accusations. After the Enquirer contacted Dempsey’s rep for comment, Parker released a statement saying that during the messy divorce she had been advised to make those accusations and others — which she now says are false.

Kanye's shitshow

Rapper Kanye West was named Best Hip Hop artist but still came off as a sore loser at the MTV Europe Music Awards.

Kanye apparently was so pissed at not winning for Best Video that he crashed the stage Thursday in Copenhagen when the award was being presented to Justice and Simian for "We Are Your Friends."

Cussing and throwing a tantrum onstage, Kanye said he should have won the prize for his video "Touch The Sky," because it "cost a million dollars, Pamela Anderson was in it. I was jumping across canyons."

"If I don't win, the awards show loses credibility," Kanye said.

TOMMY BOY

Tom Cruise and MGM studios are resurrecting United Artists, the movie studio founded more than 80 years ago by screen legends including Charlie Chaplin and Mary Pickford. MGM executives yesterday announced the new plans which will have Cruise starring in and producing films for the studio. Cruise's production partner Paula Wagner will serve as chief executive for the new studio. According to MGM, Cruise and Wagner will set the company's production slate from development to production green-lighting ability.

Who did Tom Cruise blow to get this kind of deal?? Get ready for a shit-load of Scientology-tinged movies, people.

Ignoring Ryan Phillipe and Reese Witherspoon DIVORCE

I know i haven't blogged in days. It's because the minions of hell (my coworkers) have locked me in my cubicle, and will only let me come out when I've done all the shitty work that's required of this job. Also, I have a lot of freelance work going on right now, so sorry about being MIA.

Anyhow, the love of my life just sent me this video. It might not be SHOES , but it's damn funny.

Mariah doesn't fare well in Japan.

Pop superstar Mariah Carey's Hong Kong concert this weekend has been axed after the singer made a string of last minute diva demands. Promoters in the Chinese territory are furious at Carey's "unreasonable" behavior.

For instance, instead of indulging in the Chinese delicacy of Dog Meat, the pop diva requested cat brains, and the Chinese thought this was incredibly undignified of her. Also, she requested 5 boxes of fortune dumplings, and when Chinese officials tried to correct her by saying they're called fortune cookies, she went ape-shit, and jumped into a huge vat of luke-warn Ramen noodles, which was intended to feed all of the little Chinese girls that are put up for adoption, since you're only allowed to have 1 child per household in China, and most parents chuck the girls and keep the boys. Better luck next time Mariah?

"Days of Our Lives" gets a CLAYMATE

Clay Aiken will be appearing on the NBC daytime drama "Days of our Lives" as himself, performing "Everything I Have," a song from his new album, as part of a private concert for Steve (Stephen Nichols) and Kayla (Mary Beth Evans) in the local "Days of Our Lives Salem" club called Dune.

After performing the song, Clay Aiken is supposedly going to have a hot and steamy on-screen sex scene with John Black (who has the same haircut as Clay, and who used to be known as Roman, before he was a priest, a bounty hunter, and a cross-dresser). In the episode, Marlena (aka: DOC) is supposed to catch Clay and John Black in the throes of passion, and tries to shoot Clay, but is so traumatized by Aiken's baby dick that she relapses into a demonically posessed state, at which point Aiken makes a holy cross out of his highlighted hair and exorcises her demons, but only after he shoves his contact lenses up John Black's butt for safe keeping.


GOD, IT WOULD BE SO COOL IF THAT LAST PART WAS ACTUALLY GOING TO HAPPEN.

SURPRISE SURPRISE, NAOMI CAMPBELL IS FUCKING INSANE!

Naomi Campbell was arrested AGAIN for assault. She didn't hit her maid with her cell phone again, but get this: she apparently assaulted her DRUG COUNCELOR. WHO DOES THAT? WHO IS THAT INSANE? I enlisted the help of Phylicia Rashad (i found out we had the same oral surgeon when I got my wisdom teeth yanked out, and she glided into the office just like when she used to make a suave entrance on The Cosby Show). Anyhow, she always has such a polite and poised way of giving tough love, so she promptly wrote this letter to Naomi:



Dear Naomi,
Come here. Let me hold your hand, child. Let me try to explain to you in a calm manner (so that you don't beat me to a pulp) that hitting your drug councelor is not going to get you a daytime talk show or a reality tv show like Tyra Banks. Your anger management issues are BEYOND the kind of stunts that Liza ("the hulk") Minnelli pulled on David Gest when she used to slap him around. Your tantrums are lethal, bitch. Get it together.
Love,
Claire Huxtable

Michael J Fox. VS. Rush (not the band, people)

Michael J. Fox has responded to conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh, who suggested that Fox's Parkinson's-related tremors in a TV ad for a Democratic politician were exaggerated.

In the ad for Missouri Senate challenger Claire McCaskill, who supports stem-cell research, Fox exhibits the severe shaking and stiffness associated with Parkinson's disease. (See clip below.) But Limbaugh said on his syndicated radio program Tuesday that Fox was "either off his medication or acting."

If you haven't seen the video, here it is:



Campaigning in Chicago for Democratic Congressional candidate Tammy Duckworth, Fox shot back, "My pills are working really well right now," the Associated Press reports.

Limbaugh said on his radio show, "If this was not an act, then I apologize." He went on to say, however, that Fox is allowing his illness to be exploited.


First of all, RUSH LIMBAUGH is so damn desperate to find a new way to gain the respect of humanity (yes, that includes Republicans) again. Guess what? This just isn't going to cut it. Making inflamitory statements like these is severely fucked up. Just because he checked into rehab doesn't mean he's a medical authority on illness? The way he goes on about Fox's pills and his acting makes me think he's been taking a few tips from TOM CRUISE lately???? And you know what, it's Fox's illness, so he can use it or not use it in any way he goddamn pleases!!

Maternity Leave from Elle?

Project Runway judge Nina Garcia and her husband, David Conrod, a senior managing director at Guggenheim Capital, are expecting their first child together in March, Garcia confirms People magazine.

WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS: WHO THE HELL WOULD WANT TO IMPREGNATE THIS SOUR-PUSS OF A BITCH? I FEEL INFINITELY SORRY FOR HER SPAWN.

Meanwhile, this is going on in Japan...

Happy Thursday people. I'll be away, traveling this vast land that is our country by car tomorrow, and won't be back till Monday, but thought I'd leave you with a lasting image. By now, I hope all of you have watched the Liza Video that I posted a few days ago. (How about that kid who does an impersonation of her—pretty damn AWESOME, huh?)

Anyhow, here's a recent video that I found about a crazy Japanese Kung-fu instructor. He manages to capture exactly what I'd like to do to some of my co-workers on a regular basis.

Inter-race adoptees are weary about Madonna adopting an African child

Did they ever give Angelina Jolie this much shit for her adopting her first two "racially diverse" children?

GREEDY CELEBRITY GETS SNIPED BY IRS

According to IMDB:

"Actor Wesley Snipes has been indicted on eight counts of tax fraud over allegations he tried to cheat the US government out of millions of dollars in false refund claims. Snipes also failed to file tax returns for six years between 1999 and 2004, according to legal documents filed in Tampa, Florida. He could face up to 16 years behind bars if found guilty of the tax offenses, which total nearly $12 million in fraudulently claimed refunds on income taxes paid in 1996 and 1997. Snipes has so far evaded arrest because authorities cannot find him."

LIZA MINELLI - Like you've never seen her before.

Here's the pilot episode of the Liza Minnelli and David Gest reality show that was supposed to air on VH-1 but didn't.
This is the MOST important video I will ever put on this damn blog, so I just can't bring myself to keep on blogging unless I know ever single one of you has seen it. I mean it people. This is INCREDIBLE! I didn't expect that my love for Liza could grow even further.

Click on the link! Whatcha waiting for??

Smile of the STARS

THE WORLD IS A SHITSHOW...AND HERE'S THE MOST RECENT EVIDENCE OF WHY THIS IS SO

I've been reading the news a lot lately, mostly to be able to update this blog when I can. Sometimes, when you read too much bad news, it can get to you. But I always have to remind myself that bad things have always happened. The world has always been fucked up. And tragedies occur simultaneously all the time. But sometimes, it just gets to me:



1. North Korea, which announced last Monday that it had successfully detonated a nuclear device, has denounced the resolution, accused the Security Council of gangsterism and warned that any American pressure on the North Korean government would be regarded as an act of war.



2. Israel's president canceled his appearance at the opening session of parliament Monday, succumbing to intense pressure after police recommended indicting him on rape charges. [ISN'T IT ODD THAT MOST U.S. NEWSPAPERS FAILED TO INCLUDE THIS INFO IN THEIR TOP NEWS? OF COURSE NOT! CAUSE THAT WOULD JUST MAKE THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION'S SUPPORT FOR ISRAEL LOOK BAD!]

3. Sunday morning brought chaos to the normally serene and lush Big Island of Hawaii as it shook with the state's biggest earthquake since 1983.



4. President Bush assured Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki on Monday that the United States had not set any deadline for the Iraqi government to bring the violence under control, the White House said.

5. A day after five members of a family were gunned down in their southeastern Iowa home, the family’s 22-year-old son was charged with murdering them.
6. A U.S. military pilot who flew a U.S. Air Force jet from New York to Germany to pick up 200,000 pills of Ecstasy was sentenced Friday to 17 1/2 years in prison. [GOOD TO KNOW THAT OUR TAX DOLLARS ARE GOING TOWARDS DRUG TRAFFICKING THAT'S BEING OPERATED BY THE U.S. AIRFORCE. AND WE TRY TO PIN IT ON COLOMBIA. SHEESH.]

7. Coast Guard officials want to mount machine guns on their boats around the Great Lakes as a counterterrorism measure. [GREAT, THAT'S ALL WE NEED. MORE HICKS WITH GUNS.]



8. In their first news interviews, three former Duke University students told the CBS News program “60 Minutes” that they were falsely accused of raping a woman hired to dance at a lacrosse team party last March. [CUT THE CRAP YOU FUCKIN' RICH LITTLE JOCKS, AND OWN UP TO YOUR CRIME. YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF SLEEZY MAGGOTS WHO ARE JUST POUTING ABOUT GETTING ASS-RAPED IN JAIL. IF YOU'RE GOING TO RAPE A WOMAN, YOU SHOULD EXPECT THE SAME IN RETURN. AN EYE FOR AN EYE, BROTHERS.]



9. According to the New York Times, companies are not building power plants and power lines fast enough to meet growing demand, according to a group recently assigned by the federal government to assure proper operation of the power grid. The group, the North American Electric Reliability Council, in its annual report, to be released Monday, said the amount of power that could be generated or transmitted would drop below the target levels meant to ensure reliability on peak days in Texas, New England, the Mid-Atlantic area and the Midwest during the next two to three years.

10. A woman and her two young children will get a special Christmas dinner at one of Atlanta’s most expensive restaurants this year — courtesy of a Rockdale County judge who imposed that sentence on a man charged with family violence on Christmas Day.
“Basically you were hung over and didn’t want to be involved in some activities your wife planned,” Chief Superior Court Judge Sidney Nation told Wendell Jerome Herman Rogers II. “You acted up and ruined Christmas, so this year you’re going to make it up to them.” Authorities said the 33-year-old Rogers came home from a party on Christmas Eve and got into a confrontation with his wife in front of their two young children the next morning. He then tried to prevent his wife from calling for help.
He will have to submit a receipt to the court for the family dinner by Jan. 5. [ONLY IN CONYERS, GA, PEOPLE. ONLY IN CONYERS.]

Dipshit of the Year

Tara Reid was apparently "devastated" after she had breast implants and liposuction procedures. In US Weekly, she says, "I got my breasts done for the first time because my breasts were uneven. I was a 34B, but the right one was always bigger than the left. I weigh 110 pounds now [ANOREXIA!], but I always used to fluctuate by 10 pounds, so my skin was kind of saggy. I figured, 'I'm in Hollywood, I'm getting older, I'm going to fix them.'" [FIRST OF ALL TARA, YOU'RE NOT IN HOLLYWOOD. YOU DON'T EVEN DO ANYTHING IN HOLLYWOOD. YOU WERE LIKE IN ONE MOVIE, AND IT SUCKED, SO DON'T TRY TO CLAIM A CAREER YOU DON'T HAVE].

Tara goes on to saying, "First of all, I asked for big Bs, and he (the doctor) did not give me big Bs. He gave me Cs, and I didn't want them. At all. Right after the surgery, I had some bumps along the edges of my nipples, but the doctor said, 'Don't worry, it's going to be better.' But after six months it started to get worse and worse." The actress says her breast implants made her self-conscious - especially when it came to being intimate. She says, "Guys I was dating would be like, 'What's wrong with them? They look really bad. You know, you should really get them fixed.' So embarrassing. I mean, you definitely need to turn the lights off, that's for sure." [WHAT KIND OF ASSHOLES HAVE YOU BEEN DATING TARA?]



Reid also underwent liposuction on her thin frame at the same time to make her muscles appear more sculpted [CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS SHIT!!]. She says, "I got lipo because even though I was skinny, I wanted - I'm not going to lie - a six-pack. I had body contouring, but it all went wrong. My stomach became the most ripply, bulgy thing." Reid underwent reconstructive surgery last month and has endured a painful recovery, but insists her life is back on track. She adds, "I'll never be perfect again, but I've got my self confidence back." [YOU DON'T HAVE SHIT, TARA. AND IF YOU WANT A SIX-PACK, WHY DON'T YOU EXERCISE LIKE THE REST OF US, YOU FREAKIN' DERANGED BARBIE. IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE TOO BUSY TO GO TO THE GYM, BECAUSE YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE AN ACTING CAREER.]

Meanwhile, this is going on in Japan...

The Japanese take their rock,paper,scissor games VERY seriously

Animals teach us a thing or two about being GAY

The birds and the bees may be gay, according to the world's first museum exhibition about homosexuality among animals.

With documentation of gay or lesbian behavior among giraffes, penguins, parrots, beetles, whales and dozens of other creatures, the Oslo Natural History Museum concludes human homosexuality cannot be viewed as "unnatural". "We may have opinions on a lot of things, but one thing is clear -- homosexuality is found throughout the animal kingdom, it is not against nature," an exhibit statement said.





Geir Soeli, the project leader of the exhibition entitled "Against Nature", told Reuters: "Homosexuality has been observed for more than 1,500 animal species, and is well documented for 500 of them." The museum said the exhibition, opening on Thursday despite condemnation from some Christians, was the first in the world on the subject. Soeli said a Dutch zoo had once organised tours to view homosexual couples among the animals."The sexual urge is strong in all animals. ... It's a part of life, it's fun to have sex," Soeli said of the reasons for homosexuality or bisexuality among animals.

• First of all, this is fucking AWESOME! Looks like the animals have got it figured out more than we do, and they're not FREAKING out about it!
  

• Secondly, I wish more humans would think that "it's fun to have sex." More than ever, I feel like people are replacing sex with food, tv, their fucking cars, and their dumbass days at the spa. SEX is FUN people! Why don't we revisit it?!

Mr. T gets warm and fuzzy

After disappearing from public view about a decade ago, Mr. T, known for his roles in television's "The A-Team" and a boxer in the movie "Rocky III," is back, and he's looking for sad saps to save and give some tough love to. He's the star of a new reality TV show starting this week called "I Pity the Fool" on the TV Land cable network. In the show he storms into struggling businesses and families to give guidance on everything from business to love.

"It is my job to motivate them," Mr. T told Reuters in an interview. It is all about doing positive things."

I'm sure his nuggets of wisdom will be priceless.

"TERRORIST" WAS A YANKEE PITCHER

Yesterday, I got a call from numerous people in other parts of the country to make sure that the building I work in wasn't the one that got hit by a small airplane yesterday here in Manhattan.

The whole debacle yesterday was ridiculous - everyone was pointing to terrorism, when it seemed so obvious to me that it was just an accident (albeit, a sad one, for the Yankee's pitcher, Cory Lidle, whose plane just unfortunately swerved out of his control). Even my co-worker rushed into my cube shouting, "Did you here that a terrorist crashed an airplane into a building just now???!!" without even knowing the facts. This is how it starts people. We've been absolutely brainwashed by fear.

People are so revved up and juiced up with fear, they can't fucking think straight, and the first thing that comes to their mind is that the terrorists are out to get us. How 'bout this—–WHY the fuck would a terrorist fly a plane into a random condo building on the upper east side?? To buy an apartment? To make the real estate prices in the Upper East Side even cheaper than they are now? It's not like planes haven't crashed into buildings in NYC before!! In 1945, an army corps plane accidentally crashed into THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING, for chris' sake!

I realized yesterday, after speaking with several people, that this country has really gone to the shitter. Everybody's so charged up, on edge, and ready to fucking burst at any moment. It makes me feel like President Bush, who's into the business of selling fear, has made quite a profit off of injecting people with a paralyzing terror—terror to live, terror to breathe. It's gotten out of hand.

Also, you'd think Manhattan would have regulations about how close airplanes can fly around the island. Guess what? They don't. Wouldn't you say that if the threat of terrorism was actually real, that we would have those regulations put into place?

Give it to 'em BABS!

No, this is not a drag queen. It's the real Babs.



Barbra Streisand was forced to shut up a heckler at her celebrity-packed New York City gig on Monday night, when the man took exception to her onstage digs at President George W. Bush. Babs, a staunch Democrat and is still appalled that Bush was elected to the most powerful position in the world, despite doubts over the crucial result in Florida in 2000. And Streisand's gigs on her current US tour feature a political satire sketch where an actor playing the Republican president reels off lines including, "I'm concerned about the national debt, so I'm selling Canada," and, "If I cared about the polls I would have run for president of Poland." At Monday's Madison Square Garden gig, some members of the 20,000 audience wanted Streisand to leave politics aside and just sing her songs. Babs first pleaded with the hecklers, "Come on, be polite!" But one heckler then shouted, "What is this? A fundraiser?" An irritated Streisand reportedly immediately retorted, to applause, "Why don't you shut the fuck up! If you can't take a joke, why don't you leave and get your money back." The man then walked out of the concert—Later asshole!